"My deepest desires reveal my deepest insecurities." - Jordan Lee Dooley
This quote was taken from Own Your Everyday. I pondered on it and honestly, I gotta be real. One of my biggest desires is to be married. I'm always talking, thinking, and fantasizing about the idea of marriage to a man that loves me and is all about me. Sometimes I find myself in seasons of frustration because I feel like the only one who is not married...in the world. I think I've even questioned God and asked him how long this is going to take - working on my patience.
Story Time:
This past summer, I went on a cruise and saw a bunch of young couples in my age group. I promise y'all, before I went on this trip, I declared that I was going to enjoy myself and not pay attention to guys. I lied to myself, lol. What was an 8-day cruise felt like 2 weeks of torture because of all the couples that I saw. I don't know what was in the air, but singleness was hitting hard! I didn't want to see another couple or else I would've gone overboard (hypothetically ofc). Listen, the devil was winning the battle over what should have been practicing self-control. I could not handle it and I know that I let the devil win on that cruise. Once the trip was over, I came off the ship with an extra luggage of shame and sadness.
I share that story to say this, I know what it is like to be single and want to be married. I know what it is like to see others in relationships and want that same thing for yourself. I have read a good number of blogs about being single and content, waiting on God, purpose in singleness. Can I be real? Although those blogs are encouraging, I grow tired of hearing the same thing. I want real. The days when being single feels like a never-ending road or waiting on God to "bring your spouse" seems like an eternity. I emphasize "bring your spouse" because I personally doubt that God is going to drop someone in my lap and say "hear ya go". I do know that God is all about proper timing and free will. A perfect equation that equals at the right time I will enter into the dating season, and it will be my choice to choose my mate (I'm definitely going to study more on free will and proper timing).
This is not a post to give you another encouragement on being content or your purpose in the singleness. This is simply, a touch and agree that I am with you and know exactly what you are feeling, thinking, and saying in this season of your life.
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